Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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