i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
