the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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