she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
