Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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