Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
