I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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