please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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