Having a random hookup so left but love u
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
