At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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