even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
