Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
