Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
