so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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