yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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