i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
