how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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