I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
