what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
