dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
