It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
