So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i was born a porn star she said
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
