my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
