This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
