I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i dont even know how to be here
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
