Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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