I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
