dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
