the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
