Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
