We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
