no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's rum buckets o'clock
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
