when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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