Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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