Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
