how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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