I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
