I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
