There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
