Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
