So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
