I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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