I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
