I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
