now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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