If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
