But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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