I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
