i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
