it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
