six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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