ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
