There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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